COVIDTogether: Perceived Relationship Changes and Experiences of Growth and Conflict During the COVID-19 Pandemic

Authors: Veronica Benyamin, Sophie Goss, Rhonda Balzarini, Amy Muise

Presented at the Canadian Sex Research Forum, York University, Texas University

Abstract

The COVID-19 pandemic is a time of stress for many couples who are working, parenting and living together. Couples who report more pandemic-related stressors also report poorer relationship quality and more frequent conflict. Yet challenging times can also present opportunities for growth. Self-expansion theory posits that shared novel experiences with a partner help maintain satisfaction and desire. CovidTogether is a longitudinal study of 220 couples (N = 440) living together during the COVID-19 pandemic. At the outset, both partners reported on relationship and sexual changes from before the pandemic. We found that 10% perceived their relationship as less satisfying, 36% felt it was the same, and 54% felt it was more satisfying. Also, 29% reported experiencing more conflict compared to pre-pandemic and 75% reported spending more quality time together. Although 25% said their sex life was worse, most said it was the same (42%) and 33% reported their sex life improved. Similarly, 30% reported an increase in desire towards their partner and 28% reported having more sex, whereas similar numbers (22%; 31%) reported lower desire and less frequent sex. Each week for three weeks, partners also described their experiences of conflict and growth. We coded their responses using thematic analysis and found 19 themes related to activities that promote growth and 17 themes related to topics of conflict that were both in line with and extend themes from past research. Future work can extend these findings by investigating the factors that contribute to conflict and growth during times of stress.